It's funny how you feel when meeting people that you have not seen for 4 years. There's a sort of strange moment, when in catching up, you become aware that there are quite a few changes and things done over that period. I don't think of 4 years as a lengthy amount of time, but then it's weird to think of all that is happened. I feel so changed from that other person, the one who once knew this person I am speaking with. We still recognise each other physically, but there's all this space of what comes between.
It reminds me of how I become late at night, when sneaking quietly through the house to use the bathroom. I am this shadowy thing, guided by the smallest amount of light, stepping softly when I would normally pound the floor. Sometimes when these lastnightbathroomvisits are fulled by my imagination I cannot look at my reflection, for fear of what I might see, who I might have become in the dark, or what is lurking just past my shoulder. As I pass the mirror I avert my eyes or lower them, like some meek creature.
Have I become this nightime ghast in my present life, or is it the ghost of my old life that wants to tap me on the shoulder, and have me look at it full in the face so that I can see how changed I am?
